Life Offers Lessons
Life offers lessons.
Ah, life, fewer lessons, please.
I want to live a fearless life, and it would be so much easier without things like cancer, and terrorists, and A Certain Political Party.
I know the world doesn’t work that way. And I’m sure Buddhists would say fearlessness is not a righteous goal. Better to face the fear, look it square in the eye, and say: You will not control me.
I do that for the big things. But always there’s the background noise of what if? What if the cancer moves to a place that would be immediately life threatening? What if I have an accident that leaves me altered in ways I could not tolerate? What if I run out of money?
The wise part of me knows that even if those things happened, I’d find a way to cope.
So why do I let fear keep me always just this side of peace? I ask as if it’s a choice.
Maybe trying to hush it isn’t the answer. What if I accepted it as a caring part of me and brought it into my heart to love? Maybe it could feel safe and rest some.
Am I open to life? If Bob Barker (for those of you old enough) asked me to choose door one, two, or three; exchange what’s there for the life I have now, I’d probably say, no thank you – I think I’ll just keep what I have. Scary, unpleasant stuff and all, at least I feel I can cope with it.
Does that mean I’m closed to life? I don’t think so. Married and divorced twice. I never thought that would happen.
Moving 15 times in 19 years – surely that shouts of openness. Online dating – at my age! How much more open could I be?
Well, a little. If I didn’t overthink pretty much everything, I think there’d be more room for more life.
Go on a think fast?