Life Offers Lessons

Posted on October 23, 2015 By

Life offers lessons.

Ah, life, fewer lessons, please.

I want to live a fearless life, and it would be so much easier without things like cancer, and terrorists, and A Certain Political Party.

I know the world doesn’t work that way. And I’m sure Buddhists would say fearlessness is not a righteous goal. Better to face the fear, look it square in the eye, and say: You will not control me.

I do that for the big things. But always there’s the background noise of what if? What if the cancer moves to a place that would be immediately life threatening? What if I have an accident that leaves me altered in ways I could not tolerate? What if I run out of money?

The wise part of me knows that even if those things happened, I’d find a way to cope.

So why do I let fear keep me always just this side of peace? I ask as if it’s a choice.

Maybe trying to hush it isn’t the answer. What if I accepted it as a caring part of me and brought it into my heart to love? Maybe it could feel safe and rest some.

Am I open to life? If Bob Barker (for those of you old enough) asked me to choose door one, two, or three; exchange what’s there for the life I have now, I’d probably say, no thank you – I think I’ll just keep what I have. Scary, unpleasant stuff and all, at least I feel I can cope with it.

Does that mean I’m closed to life? I don’t think so. Married and divorced twice. I never thought that would happen.

Moving 15 times in 19 years – surely that shouts of openness. Online dating – at my age! How much more open could I be?

Well, a little. If I didn’t overthink pretty much everything, I think there’d be more room for more life.

Go on a think fast?